“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
-John 13:35 (ESV)
In the second or third century a significant letter (also called an epistle) was written to some unknown person named “Diognetus.” The author of the epistle remains a mystery lost to time, but he called himself “Mathetes,” which simply means, “disciple” in Greek.
Diognetus apparently had questions about Christianity, and Mathetes was happy to address them. Mathetes felt that those people who still clung to the Law for salvation were “foolish” and “superstitious,” echoing the letters of Paul. Below is an excerpt from “The Epistle to Diognetus” in which Mathetes lists the strange juxtapositions which come with living a Christian life:
“Christians are indistinguishable from other men either by nationality, language or customs. They do not inhabit separate cities of their own, or speak a strange dialect, or follow some outlandish way of life. Their teaching is not based upon reveries inspired by the curiosity of men. Unlike some other people, they champion no purely human doctrine. With regard to dress, food and manner of life in general, they follow the customs of whatever city they happen to be living in, whether it is Greek or foreign.
And yet there is something extraordinary about their lives.
-They live in their own countries as though they were only passing through.
-They play their full role as citizens, but labor under all the disabilities of aliens.
-Any country can be their homeland, but for them their homeland, wherever it may be, is a foreign country.
-Like others, they marry and have children, but they do not expose them.
-They share their meals, but not their wives.
-They live in the flesh, but they are not governed by the desires of the flesh.
-They pass their days upon earth, but they are citizens of heaven.
-Obedient to the laws, they yet live on a level that transcends the law.
-Christians love all men, but all men persecute them.
-Condemned because they are not understood, they are put to death, but raised to life again.
-They live in poverty, but enrich many; they are totally destitute, but possess an abundance of everything.
-They suffer dishonor, but that is their glory.
-They are defamed, but vindicated.
A blessing is their answer to abuse, deference their response to insult. For the good they do they receive the punishment of malefactors, but even then they, rejoice, as though receiving the gift of life. They are attacked by the Jews as aliens, they are persecuted by the Greeks, yet no one can explain the reason for this hatred.
To speak in general terms, we may say that the Christian is to the world what the soul is to the body. As the soul is present in every part of the body, while remaining distinct from it, so Christians are found in all the cities of the world, but cannot be identified with the world. As the visible body contains the invisible soul, so Christians are seen living in the world, but their religious life remains unseen. The body hates the soul and wars against it, not because of any injury the soul has done it, but because of the restriction the soul places on its pleasures. Similarly, the world hates the Christians, not because they have done it any wrong, but because they are opposed to its enjoyments.
Christians love those who hate them just as the soul loves the body and all its members despite the body’s hatred. It is by the soul, enclosed within the body, that the body is held together, and similarly, it is by the Christians, detained in the world as in a prison, that the world is held together. The soul, though immortal, has a mortal dwelling place; and Christians also live for a time amidst perishable things, while awaiting the freedom from change and decay that will be theirs in heaven. As the soul benefits from the deprivation of food and drink, so Christians flourish under persecution. Such is the Christian’s lofty and divinely appointed function, from which he is not permitted to excuse himself.”
[Source: From a letter to Diognetus (Nn. 5-6; Funk, 397-401)]
And so Mathetes viewed Christians as sojourners in this world, just as the Bible said we would be.
What I have observed is that bitterness towards Christianity as a whole sprouts up within a person’s heart when they see an individual who claims to be Christian yet is immensely selfish and unkind to those around them. As Mathetes suggested and Jesus Himself said, the main, defining, recognizable qualities of a Christian are their love and selflessness. When a Christian is worldly and behaves badly towards others, it’s easy for others to become disgusted by their hypocrisy and discredit Christianity as a whole.
Love, however, is a fruit of the Spirit, not a fruit of humanity. A person who calls themself a Christian yet doesn’t act in love may not actually understand the gospel. They may not, in fact, really be a Christian as the Bible defines it.
Beyond that however, Christianity is not a lifestyle or a list of things people do. Christianity is a relationship with God. My son might display rude behavior despite my warning him not to. That won’t change the fact that he’s my son, I’m his mother and I love him very much. He might, however, lose friends because of his behavior!
Growing up in church, I was surrounded by many kind-hearted people, but even the best of them could be downright moronic at times. I myself have many regrets because of times I hurt other people, and I hope they’ll forgive me. This doesn’t change the fact that God Himself, our Father, is good. There are times when I forget where my true citizenship is and I disregard the needs of others. I understand that every person who claims Christianity “misbehaves” at times, for one reason or another.
But God is always there, He is good, and he’s ready to make us the world’s “soul” as Mathetes said. It’s the Holy Spirit which compels us to be the good in the world. That’s what makes Christians stand out from the crowd.
Anna Sojourning 
Reading this post gave me joy because it reminded me that God will glorify Himself through my life here, through everything that happens externally or internally, and then I will be physically with Him. Thinking about His sovereignty and love removes struggle and anxiety and frees one to simply seek Him, His presence and His ways.
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