My First Blog Post: Then & Now

04/05/2015 15:04

 

I have never had a blog before, and I have no idea what I’m doing.  But I had a sudden impulse to share my innermost thoughts with the big, wide world.

So…let’s see if I can figure this out…hmm…

 

2015 was only 5 years ago, but it feels like an eternity. When I started writing, I was in a dark place and my heart felt lonely, hopeless and desolate. The details of what lead to this are deeply personal, but suffice it to say I was grieving unfulfilled dreams and broken relationships. My writing reflected that sadness and loss. In my grief, I ran to God and leaned on Him. It was during that time that I experienced a sort of spiritual growth spurt — all the growing pains included. I learned what it really meant to delight in the Lord, even in the most painful of circumstances.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” People too often fixate on the latter part, “He will give you the desires of your heart” and they forget the command, “Delight yourself in the Lord.” Christians often feel that if they are obedient enough to the Lord that he’ll reward them with what they want. But God wants to give us so much more than what we think we want. God wants to give us His love. When we delight ourselves in the Lord He Himself becomes our greatest desire.

God is everything to us: there is no need of ours that He can’t meet. People fail us, but God never fails us.

Since learning these lessons I’ve had the adventure of a lifetime. I’ve seen miracles. God has led me across the globe and I’ve experienced unbelievable things. I’ve made friends who are worth more than their weight in gold. God has made my dreams come true as well as given me even bigger dreams. Now, in this season of life we’ve fallen into routine, but I’m learning to find joy in the interludes between big adventures. In sadness and tedious I find my joy in the Lord.

I’ve also had some fresh trama in the past few years  which I’m still working through, but I don’t feel as inhibited as I once was. I’ve been uprooted, moved internationally twice, smaked in the face with culture shock, had a terrible childbirth experience, but I’ve learned to cope thanks to my relationship with Jesus. I look back on my life and I see how God has been faithful to His promise to “heal the broken hearted and bind up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

I may travel between places which are as different as night and day.

I may have a huge turnover of friends until I reach the point where I can no longer bear to say goodbye.

I may experience exhaustion, burn out, physical and emotional pain.

I may make mistakes I regret.

But through all the ups and downs of life this is my one constant: God’s totally unconditional love for me. This is my foundation and what brings me joy.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Thank you, Jesus.