Maybe you’ve been to one, or maybe you yourself have had one. Either way, most of us at some time have had the experience of attending a wedding which turned out to be a very uncomfortable (if not completely terrible) event. Many married couples all around the world did not enjoy their wedding day at all, but instead found it hectic and stressful. I’ve met several brides who ended their wedding in tears of frustration. Couples expect their wedding to be a magical experience, and it so often turns out to be an incredibly uncomfortable experience instead, much to their disappointment.
Many times the people planning the wedding have had no experience in organizing any kind of event before, and that’s what can make it a huge stressor. It’s handy to hire a wedding planner, but that option may be out of the price range of many couples. I’ve also met couples who couldn’t afford to pay for their own wedding, so their parents obliged and took on the expenses…but no one in the family handled the planning well and it lead to problems.
I’ve noticed certain patterns in the way many people plan their wedding which sets it up for potential disaster. Many of them stem from expectations or preconceived ideas of “how a wedding ought to be,” which turn out to be impracticable when the day comes. However, if you avoid these mistakes, your wedding will likely end up being good time for you, your spouse and your guests.
Here is a list of twelve mistakes to avoid:
1). Marrying someone who is a very bad match for you.
Firstly, if you’re having doubts about the person you’re marrying, that’s the most obvious way to cause stress and tension within yourself and your wedding party. Postpone the wedding if you have any doubts, even if your wedding is about to start in a few hours or less. As marriage is a covenant, It’s better to have one painful breakup than a lifetime of heartache.
2). Posting your engagement on social media before you tell your close friends and family.
This is super tacky, but I have known people who did this. Sharing an important life-changing event with your friends and family will make them understand how much you truly love them and want to include them in your life. If you don’t tell your loved ones personally that you’re engaged before you make a public announcement, you’ll create in them a sense of broken trust.
3). Not praying while planning your wedding.
God is the one who should lead you into a life-long relationship. He’s the one you must seek to bring you joy throughout the ups and downs of your life together. If you don’t pray for guidance in choosing a spouse, and don’t pray for help in arranging your ceremony then I promise you, your wedding will not be the picture of heaven you were aiming for. So be sure to pray over the whole event, alone and with your spouse-to-be.
4). Not communicating.
Communication is key in any relationship, so be sure to communicate with your sweetheart and ask what their needs and desires are. This is not just YOUR wedding, it’s your spouse’s and your wedding. Ask your fiance(e) what decorations they want, what drinks you should serve, what music to play, etc, and do your best to compromise. Conversely, if your spouse-to-be is making wedding arrangements which disappoint you, be sure tell them what you really want. Resentment will build and fester between you if you don’t start off your marriage with clear communication.
If you are a parent paying for a wedding, it will show a great deal of additional kindness to your children if you ask them what they want for their wedding, keep to a budget, and don’t feel the need to impress your peers. Likewise, children should be sure to graciously communicate with their parents their desires, without being taking advantage of them.
5). Being strictly traditional.
If something is customary, don’t it solely for that reason! If it’s expensive, if it’s an ungodly ritual, if it makes you uncomfortable and no one enjoys it, don’t do it simply because, “it’s tradition!” Skipping over traditions you dislike will make your wedding more simple, easy-going and enjoyable.
6). Trying to please everyone.
If you’re taking every suggestion from your parents, your in-laws, your friends, your coworker’s cousin’s brother, it will suck the joy out of your event. There’s no way you can please everyone, so in the end, just aim for having a wedding which you and your spouse will enjoy.
7). Making your wedding complicated and lavish.
Instead of inviting “everyone and their mothers,” downsize as much as possible and invite close friends and family only. Keep things simple: your wedding will only last a day and you shouldn’t spend all of your money, time and energy on this one event. Leave money for your honeymoon, and don’t be stuck with debt afterwards.
8). Being picky and demanding.
Chill, be flexible and don’t panic when things don’t go as planned. Such large social events as weddings seldom go as planned, so it’s best not to be perfectionistic about it. Just enjoy what it is and roll with it! Don’t be a “Bridezilla.” (Or a “Groomzilla!”)
9). Making it difficult for guests.
There are some common things couples do which makes the wedding strenuous or uncomfortable for their guests. Make sure of the following things:
– If you want all of your family and friends to come, then don’t make the location of the ceremony thousands of miles away from your hometown.
– If you’re planning an outdoor wedding don’t schedule it at the hottest or coldest time of the year!
– Keep the ceremony and reception short, and provide food if at all possible.
10). Serving lots of alcohol (especially if some of your guests are alcoholic).
Many people feel serving alcohol is an essential part of a wedding celebration, however wisdom is needed in doing so. Common “wedding-drama” is due to one or more of the guests having a drunken outburst. Consider serving other classy, non-alcoholic drinks such as kombucha, iced tea or fresh fruit juices.
11). Not pausing for snack breaks during your photo shoot.
Hungry bride = cranky bride. Need I say more?
12). Having sex on your wedding night just because “it’s what’s expected.”
Intercourse will be most pleasurable if you’re both feeling relaxed and turned-on, but on your wedding night you and/or your spouse may possibly feel tired from the events of “the big day.” Communicate ahead of time with your spouse and discuss if you want to have sex right away, or if you’d rather simply cuddle or relax. Remember that this is your marriage and you’re under no obligation regarding what you and your spouse do on your wedding night; it’s yours to enjoy.
People have told me that Indian weddings are chaotic, but ours was relatively simple, laid-back and a lot of fun. I actually thought our wedding was perfect, and I enjoyed the whole event. I attribute this mostly to God’s grace and the miraculous blessings He poured out upon us at that time. He provided for us in amazing ways! I also give credit to my husband’s wonderful organizational skills and our ability to communicate with each other.
Your wedding day is important, but not as important as the rest of your life together. It’s important to keep that in mind while planning for your wedding. If you avoid all the mistakes listed and things still go awry, do not fret! Your wedding day is not the only day you’ll be married. You have your honeymoon and the rest of your life together to enjoy and make precious memories — and that’s far more important than a one-day event, however glamorous.
Anna Sojourning 
This is very wise and practical advise for anyone planning such an important event in their life. Keep up your good work. Bob
From: Sojourner To: bob.sherbondy@yahoo.com Sent: Saturday, January 6, 2018 8:20 AM Subject: [New post] How to Have a Terrible Wedding #yiv7022534805 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv7022534805 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv7022534805 a.yiv7022534805primaryactionlink:link, #yiv7022534805 a.yiv7022534805primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv7022534805 a.yiv7022534805primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv7022534805 a.yiv7022534805primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv7022534805 WordPress.com | Sojourner posted: “Maybe you’ve been to one, or maybe you yourself have had one. Either way, most of us at some time have had the experience of attending a wedding which turned out to be a very uncomfortable (if not completely terrible) event. Many married couples all aro” | |
LikeLike