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Posted in Faith and Hope, Love & Relationships

A Father’s Love

Posted on by Anna

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.”

–Psalm 68:5

Good parents discipline their children. Good parents also don’t base their love for their children off of their children’s obedience.

When secularists, especially in western culture, think of Christianity they fear that they will “have to follow a bunch of rules” in order to please God. However, they miss the point that God views us as His children and loves us. He gives us rules to live by to keep us from harming ourselves, much like how a human father will tell his children not to play on a busy street where they might be hit by a car. This is the difference between a conventional religion and a relationship with God.
The Oxford dictionary of English defines “religion” as “The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods” or ” A particular system of faith and worship.” In that sense Christianity is a religion, since we worship God. Practically speaking, however, Christianity differs drastically from any other religious belief system. God accepts us even when we don’t obey Him; He loves those who even actively hate Him. The unconditional fatherly love of God is evident in Romans 5:8, “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Even many Christians miss this point, truth be told. That’s why some act out of anger and wrath rather than kindness.

“Christianity is not about signing up for a religion. Christianity is about being born into the family of God (John 3:3). It is a relationship. Just as an adopted child has no power to create an adoption, we have no power to join the family of God by our own efforts. We can only accept His invitation to know Him as Father through adoption (Ephesians 1:5; Romans 8:15). When we join His family through faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes to live inside our hearts (1 Corinthians 6:19; Luke 11:13; 2 Corinthians 1:21–22). He then empowers us to live like children of the King. He does not ask us to try to attain holiness by our own strength, as religion does. He asks that our old self be crucified with Him so that His power can live through us (Galatians 2:20; Romans 6:6). God wants us to know Him, to draw near to Him, to pray to Him, and love Him above everything.” [1]

As God’s adopted children, Christians are expected to follow the rules which He set for our own benefit. He will be faithful to help us follow these rules. But for the times we fail, God still offers His forgiveness and love as our father.
Maybe you never had a loving father and don’t really understand what they’re like. God offers Himself as an adoptive father to the fatherless. A person is not born a Christian: they must accept God’s gift of adoption through Jesus Christ. Simply declaring your faith and dedicating your life to Him will bring you into relationship with God, which is what He desires.

“…You did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!'” –Romans 8:15

 

Sources:
[1] GotQuestions.org. “Is Christianity a Religion or a Relationship?” GotQuestions.org, 21 Feb. 2018, http://www.gotquestions.org/Christianity-religion-relationship.html.

Posted in Faith and Hope, Social Issues

Being Teachable

Posted on by Anna

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
    but he who hates reproof is stupid.”

–Proverbs 12:1

 

Being teachincable is a vital quality every person should have — yet it’s so rare.  Both pride and low self-esteem make us resistant to instructions and offended at critism, even the constructive kind.  I myself struggle with this, and when I do it hinders my growth.

When we refuse to listen to any kind of feedback or critisim we cheat ourselves.  Knowing who we are in Christ will make us wise and humble, and when we’re wise and humble we’ll become more teachable.

 

The Bible teaches us that since we are loved, valued and forgiven, we don’t need to fear our short commings since our faliures don’t affect God’s love for us.  So when someone points out something wrong in our life we can know that doesn’t determin our value.

We also should be open to being teachable since only God knows everything and we know comparitively nothing.  It’s hard when our longest-held or most fundimental belifes are challenged, but we must remain open to correction and growth.

 

Psalms 147:4-5

He determines the number of the stars;
    he gives to all of them their names.
 Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;
    his understanding is beyond measure.

 

We must, above all, be open to what we read in the Bible.  To not be open to what God has given us in the Bible will lead us down a dangerous road.

Being open to correction will not only help us grow closer to God, but will also help us have healthy relationships with others.  May The Holy Spirit help us to have teachable hearts.

 

“Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord,
    or what man shows him his counsel?
Whom did he consult,
    and who made him understand?
Who taught him the path of justice,
    and taught him knowledge,
    and showed him the way of understanding?”

–Isaiah 40:13-14

Posted in Faith and Hope

Dedication & Celebration

Posted on by Anna

I found an old journal which is very meaningful to me:

 

13/02/2016 19:09

Pacific Daylight Time

 

I want to remember this night I publicly rededicated my life to the Lord.  It was seriously awesome.

 

 

If I could be granted one wish, it would be to love the Lord with perfect love and to have a humble and submitted heart towards Him.

He’s kept me alive.

He’s my best friend.

I’m so in love, I can’t find the words to express it…

 

 

It’s been a few months since I last wrote a blog post.  We’ve been very busy traveling and adjusting to life in another hemisphere.  I’m full of joy to be with my family again, but I’ve been badly missing having quiet time to write out my thoughts and meditate on scripture.  Thankfully, so far my husband is thriving amidst this newest transition and I’m very impressed with him.

We look forward to celebrating our marriage with my friends and family who couldn’t make it to our wedding in Asia.  I’ve grown more and more deeply in love with Amith, and I am thankful to God for putting him in my life.  He’s one of the main people who has helped me through all the tough transitions I’ve been through these past few years.

Many couples like to have a “renewal of vows” after they’ve been married a while.  The thing is though, wedding vows never expire, so there’s no need to renew them.  What Amith and I are doing is simply celebrating our love and life together, as well as all that God has done for us.  It reminds me of that day in 2016 when I rededicated my life to Christ by choosing to be baptized again.  I’ve already been baptized and I’m saved by His grace, but I was thankful to have the opportunity to publicly declare once again that I have no regrets about serving Jesus.

I’m thankful to God for creating marriage and showing us this picture of His love.  I’m thankful that God’s always dedicated to us, especially through difficult changes in our lives.  Maybe I’m not always as dedicated in my heart as I should be to the Lord, but 2 Timothy 2:13 tells us,

“if we are faithless, he remains faithful—

for he cannot deny himself.”

I have many deep feelings to work through and come to terms with stemming from these travel and life changes, but I’m thankful to God for giving me strength, and for giving me my wonderful husband and family to help me through this time.   I’m thankful to Him for never forsaking me, even when I find myself feeling depressed or distracted.

That is definitely something to celebrate!

 

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Posted in Faith and Hope

Maturing in Love With God

Posted on by Anna

I Corinthians 13:1-8 ESV
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

(note: the NLT says “if I don’t love others” but that narrows down the meaning of the original Greek.)

 

In the past when I read this passage, I had always thought about how this describes how I ought to love other people. I saw it as a good way to evaluate and choose my responses to others. Later, as I thought about how “God is love,” I realized it also describes God’s attitudes and actions towards me and all mankind. It helped me understand what God is like.
Most recently, however, I realized that since the most important command is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength,” (Luke 10:27) that this passage describes how my attitude and behavior should be towards God.

 

I may demonstrate spiritual gifts, be able to speak truth that impacts others for Christ, and live sacrificially, yet my heart and motives be for another reason besides out of love for God. Perhaps I am trying to earn His love. Perhaps I am trying to prove to myself or to others that I am a good Christian. Perhaps I want to accomplish God’s work in my own strength and am not really humbly dependent on Him. Perhaps I am seeking a sense of belonging, identity or value among other Christians by doing these things. There may be many reasons, none of them due to love for God that overflows into these actions.
There’s an example in Revelation where they worked hard, endured persecution, held to sound doctrine, but not out of love for Jesus. The Scripture doesn’t say what their motive(s) were, but it’s clear that God looks on the heart and it matters to Him;
“To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: ‘The words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand, who walks among the seven golden lampstands.
“‘I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.” (Revelation 2:2-4)

 

When God says to love Him with all that we are, the question would be, what does it look like when one is loving God? What will flow out of our heart, our attitudes and behaviors when we are acting out of love of God? These verses tell us some of that. You can go through each characteristic and think of ways in which we sometimes fail or succeed in loving God in that way.
Also, very important to remember, we cannot love God in this way by our own ability. God is love, therefore He is the source of love that we have for Him and others. So we need to ask God to fill us increasingly with His own perfect love so that we can love Him as He deserves to be loved. As His Holy Spirit transforms us, we are increasingly able to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. Here are examples:

 

Love is patient.
When God is at work in me, in others, in relationships and situations, do I wait patiently for Him? Do I say, “Father, waiting is hard for me, but I trust You and I want You to do this in Your own time.” Abraham and Sarah got impatient with God’s timing, so they decided to fulfill God’s plan themselves with Hagar, and it lead to much pain.

 

Love is kind.
Am I considerate of God? Do I do the things that delight Him, such as enjoying Him, who He is and what He does, speaking well of Him before others, spending time with Him in prayer, offering my availability to be used by Him each day?

 

Love does not envy.
Do I have a bad attitude towards God because He’s given others something that I want, perhaps a good job, a spouse, a spiritual gift that He did not give me, opportunities, etc? It is love to be content, rather than to envy. To be content with the small, unnoticed ministry that He has given me, or the spiritual gift that seems very common-place or the job that’s hard to be at or a less-than-perfect family. To look at the blessings He has given me and be grateful.

 

Love does not boast.
Do I try to fix things myself when God wants me to depend on Him? When God points out a sin or failure in my life, do I resist admitting to it, or do I humbly agree with Him (confess my sin), repent and ask Him to purify me? Do I do things with a subtle desire to be noticed and praised, instead of helping people direct their thoughts to God’s glory (i.e. do I try to steal God’s glory)?

 

Love is not arrogant.
Arrogant definition is – exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one’s own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner. When I am arrogant with God, I treat Him like my servant. I make my plans and tell Him to bless them, rather than seeking His will for my overall life and for each situation. When I am arrogant with God, I tell Him that He must heal this person because I am praying in faith, or that He must fulfill His Scriptural promise to me in a certain way and certain timing. When I am arrogant with God, I assume He owes me something. When I love God, I realize that He owes me nothing, and I owe Him everything. When I love God, I remember that everything He gives me is an undeserved gift. I listen, and ask, and thank, but I do not tell Him what to do.

 

Love is not rude.
When I love God, I sit quietly in His presence and listen to all He has to say through prayer or Scripture instead of doing all the talking myself. When I love God, I let Him go first, and I follow Him throughout my life. When I love God, I don’t use His Name as a common exclamation or cuss word, but I always speak His Name (God, Lord, Jesus, Father etc) with respect. I am honest with God, and I express my feelings to Him, but I always remember that He is the Great and Holy King, He has paid the price to buy me from death, so loving Him means being polite towards Him. Jesus taught us politeness in addressing God with respect, “Our Father in heaven, holy is Your Name…”

 

Love does not insist on its own way.
When it comes to our relationship with God, what is it called when we insist on our own way? Sin! Eve loved herself more than God (so she wanted to be as good as God in her knowledge of good and evil), so she insisted on her own way in eating the fruit. Adam loved Eve more than God, so he insisted on his own way in joining her rather than obeying God. When I love God, I choose not to sin. Sin is failure to love God more than my own desires. Jesus loved His Father in the garden when He expressed His feelings and desire to not have to suffer, but then said, “Not my will, but Yours be done.”

 

Love is not irritable or resentful.
Resentful is an attitude of ingratitude, and irritable is how you act this out (when the irritability isn’t physiologically caused, like PMS, low blood sugar, over-tired or anxiety/depression). They are not feelings, but a state of being. Jonah is an example of one who failed to love God, and to love what God loves:
“When God saw what they (Ninevah) did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it. But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. And he prayed to the Lord and said, ‘O Lord, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.’ And the Lord said, ‘Do you do well to be angry?… And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?'” (Jonah 3:10-4:1-4, 4:11)

 

Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
“When Peter came to Antioch, I told him face to face that he was wrong. He used to eat with Gentile followers of the Lord, until James sent some Jewish followers. Peter was afraid of the Jews and soon stopped eating with Gentiles. He and the other Jews hid their true feelings so well that even Barnabas was fooled. But when I saw that they were not really obeying the truth that is in the good news, I corrected Peter in front of everyone.” —Galatians 2: 11
When Paul corrected Peter, was Peter glad that the truth was brought out? It would have been very embarrassing and difficult for Peter, but if he loved God and wanted God’s ways to prevail, he would have been glad to be corrected (might have taken a while for his feelings to get there, though!)
When someone has mistreated me, am I glad when I see them get mistreated? Or do I rejoice and praise God when I see them receive forgiveness and blessing from Him? I am loving God when I rejoice to see His work being done as the light of His truth shines on me and others.

 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
When my circumstances are confusing, painful, overwhelming, hopeless, love focuses me on God and who He is. I accept from His hand what He allows, believing His promises, hoping instead of despairing, enduring what He has called me to for His glory.
Hebrews 12:1-2, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

 

When we stand before Him, we will be perfect in love for Jesus has promised to complete His good work in us and we will love Him for all eternity.

 

Philippians 1:6
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Posted in Faith and Hope

Understanding God’s Grace: Is It A License to Sin?

Posted on by Anna

Ephesians 8-9
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

 

We see that we have not earned God’s favor, but that He has graciously accepted us and sees us as His children. This is good news for us, since we all make mistakes and sin at times. It’s also good news that it’s never to late for us to repent and turn to Christ.

A non-Christian friend once said to me bitterly, “I could never worship a God who would allow both a murderer and an innocent person into heaven.”
This is a common criticism of Christianity. It doesn’t seem fair that, since we’re saved by the grace of God, hypothetically we could live sinfully, hurt others and be yet still forgiven by God.

There are some critical points which are missed when making this argument, however.
If someone purposefully does something bad to you, figuring that they can say “sorry” and get out of trouble, would you believe their repentance is sincere? No. Likewise a person who knowingly and purposefully lives in sin, figuring “Ah, God will forgive me,” it not truly repenting and does not have a sincere relationship God. Once someone becomes a Christian they’ll start to lose the desire to sin. A person who comes to Christ is no longer under the power of sin.

Romans 6:15-19
What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification

The person who sincerely knows and loves God will not be controlled by sin, and they won’t be continuously living a sinful lifestyle. God will give us the opportunity and strength to avoid sinning. Because of our flawed human nature, we’ll still mess up and sin at times, but God will always forgive His children.

Why do Christian still sin, then?
That’s because of the world we live in. We are often told lies and are deceived. Sometimes the enemy purposefully deceives us, and sometimes well-meaning people lead us astray. In moments of stupidity we ignore God and follow our impulses, or the foolish things which we have learned from others. The more time we spend in sincere prayer and study of the Bible, the more we’ll understand our flawed mindsets and behaviors.

As Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)

 

amazing-grace-875860_1280

Posted in Love & Relationships, Social Issues

God’s Ideal for Husbands and Wives

Posted on by Anna

As I stated in my previous blog post, “Patriarchy and How it Departs From God’s Desires For Society,” the world views male headship as the man telling the family what to do and the family obeying (and many Christians teach this).  In contrast God’s intention was that the man and woman are a unit which cannot function without each other — they just have different roles.  Adam was given the job of dominion, or stewarding, the world, but then shown by God that he could not do this by himself, and was given Eve to complete what was not complete in Adam.  For one thing, Adam was told to fill the earth and subdue it; really hard to accomplish without Eve!  Adam, as one single man, could not subdue the earth – it would take people filling the earth, each stewarding their little part of the earth.  So Adam could only fill God’s mandate in conjunction with Eve.

In an ideal marriage, both man and woman are submitting to the authority of God to obey the individual mandates God has given them, and that it’s only in their working together that they can fulfill what God has called them to do.
Here is an analogy:  In Lifeflight, the pilot and medical person receive an order from “the boss” to go save someone’s life.  The pilot flies there and gives directions to the medic about when to jump out, get the patient and load him in.  The pilot has this designated authority, but without the cooperation and the added skills of the medic, the patient will die.  The medic is successful in his mission of saving the patient because of the pilot, and the pilot is successful in his mission of saving the patient because of the medic.

In the same way, Eve did not help Adam to fill the role the God gave Adam to protect and steward her because she didn’t seek his guidance, and Adam did not help Eve to fill the role God gave her to be fruitful, and bring only life instead of death into the world.

As we can see in Genesis 3:16, sin impacted this because in rejecting God’s authority, man and woman were now no longer brought together in joyful, mutual submission to God.  They each began to desire to be their own authority, and so conflict with God and with each other began.  They suddenly reflected the nature of Satan, didn’t they?  Thus the beautiful mutual benefit that man and woman gave to each other became twisted.  The Spirit begins to redeem these roles and mutual godliness to their original glory, but apart from the Spirit, when men and women seek to be their own authority or when others take the authority over others that belongs to God, very ugly things happen.

The point of the wife’s compliance is to help the husband obey Christ fully in his job of stewarding his family. When the husband understands this, he must seek his wife’s input, knowing that she is a gift from God to help him.  He certainly would not regard her as a child, or inferior as that is not the role God has given.  In turn, the wife must understand that when she respects her husband she is acting as a tool or influence of Christ in his life. She recognizes the honor of being trusted by God to be the physical expression of the Spirit’s work.  Even if her husband is a moron, she understands that she is serving Christ in this.  Christ came to save morons, even if they ultimately rejected Him.
This is why God does not listen to a man’s prayers if he mistreats his wife, because that man is ignoring the work of the Spirit through her.  It is noble work.  It reflects what the Spirit Himself does in our lives.

Of course, if the husband is telling the wife to ignore the authority of God, he is telling her to obey his authority, which is just what the serpent did in the garden.  Clearly, the wife needs to obey God in this matter.

The world battles a lot about control issues, but much more rarely so we hear about “how do we, as a couple, fulfill what God has asked us to do, that we cannot do by ourselves?”  This is not just the “fill the earth” part (sometimes couples don’t have kids), it is showing the world many aspects of God that can only be shown by a couple, such as what covenant love is, faithfulness, a picture of the Trinity (Spirit-husband-wife), etc.  Sometimes, sadly, married couples try to fulfill God’s mandate as two individuals who happen to live together, rather than as two-becoming-one.  They don’t understand God’s purpose and witness to the world through marriage.

A husband’s role is like a priest. The priest’s role was to help the people come into the presence of God.  That’s what the leadership was; “Come learn to love God and to obey Him.”  The husband guides and supports his wife into submission to Christ.  Of course, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:18-21 that we are all to submit to each other in Christ,
“And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
So also, 1 Peter 2:9 says we are all priests!
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”
The purpose of wives’ submission to husbands is to guide and support husbands into submission to Christ too.

Again, marriage reflects the Trinity, where Jesus obeyed the Father, and the Father glorified Jesus, and within the totality of the Trinity, they brought Believers into relationship with Themselves.  The Father draws us, the Son redeems us, the Spirit transforms us.  They each have 100% honor and glory, but they humble themselves, they honor each other, they are truthful with each other, they communicate, they love each other etc, and they work together in their various roles to bring about all that is righteousness and love in us and through us.  This is the ideal of marriage too.

Posted in Church & Ministry Life, Social Issues

Patriarchy and How it Departs From God’s Desires For Society

Posted on by Anna

The definition of patriarchy according to the Oxford Dictionary of English:

ˈpeɪtrɪɑːki/
noun
noun: patriarchy
1. a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is reckoned through the male line.
“the thematic relationships of the ballad are worked out according to the conventional archetypes of the patriarchy”
-a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.
“the dominant ideology of patriarchy”
-a society or community organized on patriarchal lines.
plural noun: patriarchies
“we live in a patriarchy”

 

Why Are Most Cultures Patriarchal?
In the beginning Adam saw that while every animal had a mate, he was alone. Thus God amazingly made Eve out of Adam’s flesh to be his companion and helper. This makes it clear that God was trying to teach Adam how important Eve was. After spending a period of time alone, Adam could really appreciate Eve more and know how much he really needed her.
After the fall, God said to Eve, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) Or as The NLT translates it, “And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”
Part of the curse placed on mankind was a battle between sexes; a fight for dominance.  We see women trying to be controlling and manipulative while men continually push them down.
To sociologists it’s a bit of a mystery why patriarchy has continually prevailed in the vast majority of cultures.  A simple theory suggests that women generally tend to stay at home with the children while the men go out and see the world, and so thus patriarchal system easily falls into place.  On top of that, men are commonly physically stronger than women, making it hard for women to compete or stand up to them.

God clearly worked through patriarchs: Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David, the prophets etc. When we look carefully at the patriarchs of the Bible, we see that these were men who were obedient servants of God, fulfilling His will by His power.  The world focuses on the authority of the patriarch.  The Bible focuses on the authority of God, expressed through the patriarch.

(Notice though how they all endured some humbling first, to learn submission and dependence on God!)

 

How Patriarchy Departs From God’s Desires For Society
In political spheres, there have been many great female leaders.  I’m going to stick to analyzing patriarchy in the family unit, however, because this is where a society’s morals stem from.  Ephesians 5:22–33 says this,

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

 

The Bible calls the husband the head of the wife. If a husband is not following Christ, then this makes for terrible issues in a family. God does not approve of those behaviors which arise when men selfishly abuse their headship. This is why Ephesians 5:22 tells wives to, submit to your own husbands, AS TO THE LORD.  Wives are to respect and help their husbands with decision-making, but if their husband is making choices outside of what is biblical then they must not disobey God.
If a husband isn’t leading properly then wives must pray and follow Christ as their head. Patriarchal rule covers up and ignores abuse, giving the man the right to force his wife and kids to do what he wants — which is unscriptural and unchristlike.  The headship of a husband does not give him permission to be abusive physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. just as Christ didn’t abuse His church.
A woman should be able to voice her thoughts, but ultimately decision-making on behalf of the family unit is placed on the shoulders of the husband.  A family can be like a committee, each member voicing thoughts and opinions about decisions.  Eventually a conclusion will need to be made by someone, and that someone should preferably be the husband.  If, after the decision is made the wife continues to argue, nothing will ever be accomplished, which is why I believe the Bible reminds women to be submissive.  A responsible family leader, however, will certainly listen to his wife and children and take their desires into account when making decisions for the family.  If a man’s wife is particularly wise in a certain area, or if she also has good leadership abilities then it’s especially important for a man to listen to her.  Patriarchal rule, on the other hand, does not take women into account at all and excludes them from decision making.
When the Bible tells a woman to submit to her husband, people leave out the context. Husbands are instructed to love their wives, and respect and sacrifice is a part of love. We are individually responsible for our actions and have direct access to God, which is why Jesus died and rose again to provide salvation.

Another important note I would like to make is that people often confuse cultural gender roles with God’s ordained family order.  In many cultures Christians hold the idea that, morally speaking, a man should work outside the home and be the main breadwinner, while the wife should be a homemaker.  That’s not necessarily right, as nowhere in the Bible does it say that a man must be the main financial provider.   Most men do desire to be the main provider, but if in a family unit it works out that the wife is the main breadwinner while the man does more of the homemaking, or if they both share these tasks equally, there’s no shame in that.  As Christians, husbands and wives must both work hard, be productive and be involved with their children, but how that manifests will look different depending on cultural and individual circumstances.

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God’s ordained family order simply specifies that the husband’s role is in leadership and facilitation of the family, while the wife is to help him and respect his decisions in a wise, godly way.

In conclusion, patriarchy is restrictive to both men and women and is harmful on many levels.  While it’s recorded in the Bible as the history of mankind, it was never God’s desire or intention and has strayed from what His desire for mankind was.  We can thank Christ that He makes all things new.

Posted in Faith and Hope

“This Day You Will be With Me in Paradise”

Posted on by Anna
Luke 23:32, 39-43
Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him…
One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!”  But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation?  And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
There is absolutely nothing we can do to earn salvation.  The thief on the cross next to Jesus certainly did nothing.
 
We don’t know how long the man on the cross next to Jesus had been into crime, but it was presumably for a long time.  He was living in sin and had not been baptized, and he realized who Jesus was only right before death.  Yet he had a humble and repentant heart and confessed that Jesus is Lord.   He said the words, “When You enter Your Kingdom, Lord, remember me,” Jesus answered, “Truly, I say to you, this day you will be with me in paradise.
 
That’s how we know that the thief is in heaven.  All that is needed for salvation is what Romans 10:9 says, “if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
 
God brings us into  the fullness of relationship with Him, position in Him and inheritance of all God has given us on “this day” that we accept Christ.  We are not waiting to claim these things, we have them already.  We are not trying to earn them (just as the thief on the cross did not earn them); we are given of their fullness in a single moment of giving our lives to Christ.  It is simply that we have not seen the fulfillment of all of it yet.  We have seen the fulfillment of part of it,  and we are growing into the fulfillment of another part of it (as we are transformed increasingly to be like Christ),  and we will see the complete fulfillment when we enter His presence face to face.
 
This is why we live by faith.  We know this is who we are and what we have, and we are living in terms of it (people of righteousness, children of God with a great and everlasting inheritance), but it will be just a bit longer until we fully experience all of the reality.  It’s like being engaged.  You are not yet married, but you live in the reality of your marriage.  You no longer date others, you no longer invest in your single-person lifestyle, all your thoughts and actions become in line with what your life will be as a married person.  Your fiancé belongs to you, and you are living in faith that you  will have that wedding.  Finally, the wedding day comes, and all the faithfulness, and changes and building on relationship that you did as an engaged person comes to fruit.  You are presented as a pure, free and beloved bride.
 
That’s us!  We already have Paradise in our souls.  We entered Paradise on the day we received Jesus.  Now, let us feel secure in His love and His relationship to us, let us live as faithful fiancés, knowing that the wedding day is almost here!
Posted in Life as a Foreigner

Issues With Volunteering Overseas

Posted on by Anna

Romans 10:2-3
For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness.

As a teenager I went on several short-term volunteer trips which drastically changed my life. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God wanted me to make those journeys, and He sent me many signs.
These experiences overseas opened my eyes to see how big the world really is, and they made me realize that I wanted to live abroad. I made many awesome life-long friends. Best of all, I met my husband while I was in Asia!

I wouldn’t be where I am today (spiritually, developmentally or geographically) if I hadn’t gone on these trips. I do, however, deeply regret some of the internal attitudes I had as a teen. I was immature, unqualified and fairly prideful. My motivations may not have been entirely pure as I had a deep desire for adventure, and volunteer work seemed like the best way to fulfill this longing of mine. In many ways I adored overseas volunteer work more than I loved God. This is something which took me a while to surrender to the Lord.
I view my experiences as a teenager as simply lessons in intercultural living — which eventually made me into an adult who could effectively do some good in the world. I hope I did some good for the people I befriended internationally years ago, but I do believe I myself grew and matured more than I “saved people,” which is (often unrealistically) what’s expected from volunteers.

I’ve been thinking lately of foreign volunteers and the real value of their travels, particularly on short-term trips. There are some UGLY things I’ve seen my fellow American team members doing, including:

-Childishly back-talking leadership.
-Discouraging fellow team members from speaking the local language — because it makes them feel uncomfortable and jealous.
-Flirting with local boys in public, then continually talking about which one’s hottest in private.

I don’t judge people who go on these trips then excitedly go shopping and take pictures of everything while they’re there. Who wouldn’t want to soak in every moment of a new and fun experience? I am, however, saddened by the number of people who go on these trips with bad motivations, such as the following:

 

Attention.

Believe you me, if you want a great deal of attention from your peers, volunteer work is an effective way to get it. I can almost guarantee you will be glorified along with your social media posts. However, it’s shallow for someone to go “help others” just so that people will shower them with honor.

 

Wanting to be a hero.

Maybe you yourself want to feel you’re making an impact on the world. Before you go overseas, it’s important to ask yourself first, “Am I making an impact in my own community?” If you’re not looking for ways contribute to your own city, church, family or circle of friends, then you’re not going to be helpful in another country and culture.

 

A glorified vacation.

If you’re really wanting a vacation “off the beaten path,” then it may be better to consider finding a “home stay” or a camping expedition. That will actually be a very good thing: you’ll come away feeling refreshed, plus tourism is a major source of revenue for many countries. Thus in some cases, a vacation may be more beneficial to you and the people you’re going to than a “volunteer trip” would be. (Check out this blog post by Jamie Wright.)

 

Wanting to heal or “find yourself.”

Even when you travel you still take the person you are with you.

When traveling you will learn a lot about yourself, and a lot of what you learn may be very unexpected and unsettling. You should not travel to “escape life” and you should not travel to find fulfillment. In doing so you will only end up hurting yourself and others. Be thankful for your life, learn to be happy where you are; then and only then will your traveling will be blessed. As it’s been said many times before, “Don’t travel to escape life, travel so that life doesn’t escape you.”

 

Wanting adventure.

I don’t think this is a bad desire in and of itself, but it shouldn’t be your one and only motivation to volunteer.  Again, the motivation should be to serve God and do good for others out of love.

 

Looking for boyfriend/girlfriend.

Volunteer trips are not an appropriate place for casual flirting. Some people travel with the pure intention of meeting someone to fall in love with, but that often does not work out well at all. The romance of an “exotic” country can make a person’s heart malleable, and it’s important to ask yourself the question, “If I was in my home country, would I still be interested in this person?”
All this being said, if you’re invested in living internationally this may be a good situation for you to find a like-minded potential spouse — but that should not be your sole reason for volunteering.

 
[And, yes, I know I married someone I met while overseas, but that was not my intention in traveling. Truth be told, when I found myself falling in love with Amith I actually tried hard to suppress my feelings for him because I thought, “this is not what I came here for!” However, we have a solid friendship and respect for one another which transcends culture. Additionally, our families very much liked each other and were supportive of us. That’s what made all the difference.]

 

I would make a proposition to churches, agencies (or whoever is sending volunteer teams) to do a more careful job screening volunteers and judging their character and maturity. One ministry I know (one which hosted the flirtatious girls I mentioned) now screens their volunteers more carefully, even asking for information about their volunteers’ relationship and dating patterns in order to discern if they’ll be disruptive to the ministry’s work.

I would encourage volunteers to ask themselves the following before going overseas:

1. Are you sure that God is calling you to go on this trip?
2. Do you have any motivations for going besides the desire to do good?
3. Would you volunteer abroad if you had no cameras with you?
4. Does the agency have the same intentions and values as you?
5. Is there any chance that you’ll do more harm than good?

Additional questions for people staying long-term:
1. Do you legitimately have anything to offer the people you’re going to?
2. Are you skilled enough to do this job in your own country?
3. Could the work you’re going to do be done just as easily by local people?

For more thoughts on this subject check out these fabulous resources:

Barbie Savior

Jamie Wright

The Rusty Radiator’s Social Media Guide

Podcasts

Posted in Life as a Foreigner

Things I Learned in India

Posted on by Anna

Recently I found some valuable ancient documents — journal entries from my first trip to India.

Some of the entries made me laugh, some made me cringe at my immaturity and others made me smile as I re-read the valuable lessons I learned which grew me into the person I am today.  Below are some things I wrote the first time I visited India (with a little editing to make them actually readable).

God is with me

I have wanted to go to travel since I was quite little. Now there are still moments of wonder at the fact that I am really truly here. In my travels I have grown closer to God and progressively more and more in love with Him.

He frequently brings Joshua 1:9 to my mind at times when I need comforting or encouragement;

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

This is a verse God keeps bringing to my mind. It has become sort of my life verse. Whenever I get discouraged or depressed I think of Joshua 1:9 and I remember God’s promise. We never need to despair when our life or situation seems hopeless. The Lord is with us!

 

Dying to self

This is one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned being in India, but I’ve struggled to figure out how to put it into words.

Coming from a very small town, when I first arrived in the city I was totally overwhelmed! The city is in every way the opposite of the small, rural town I was brought up in. I came to realize that I won’t do well as an expat: I’m not sharp enough and I’m too weak. Yet I still felt that God was calling me to an international life. It seemed like a strange paradox.

I love India, but it’s VERY different from the US. The hardest thing about being in this country for me was learning the new social customs. As I was unsure of what an Indian sense of humor was like, I didn’t talk very much and I spent a large part of my first month sitting silently and watching people interact. People commented on my shyness, which bothered me as I wistfully remembered my reputation in my home country as a very flamboyant and outgoing person.

Matthew 10:39

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

The truth is, I’m just a kid from a small town in the US no one’s ever heard of. But when God looks at me He sees who He made me to be, and that’s His child; a strong woman. This kid could not live outside of her comfort bubble, but the strong woman God made me to be can do anything in His power. So I asked God to help me die to myself, remove my fleshly weakness, and let the person He made me to be live and grow.

Dying to self is not fun, it’s painful and requires sacrifice and humility. Jesus died to Himself when he allowed Himself to be tortured to death for our sins, He didn’t want to do it and He didn’t have to do it. In Mathew chapter 10 Jesus tells us that following Him will be difficult. But isn’t Jesus worth any cost?

Think to yourself:

  • Is He worth dying for?
  • Is He worth enduring persecution for?
  • Is He worth leaving your country for?
  • Is He worth doing the right thing, even if nobody else will do it?
  • Is He worth cleaning the house for your mom when she’s tired?

Dying to self is a small price to pay to see experience glory and freedom. Acts 1:8 says that God will send us as his witnesses to Jerusalem, to Judea, to Samaria and to the ends of the earth. He was talking to his disciples when he said this, but how does it apply to us? The ends of the earth means other countries. Samaria is a little closer to home; think of other parts of the country. Judea means other parts of your state, and Jerusalem could referrer to your city and own community. God may not lead all of us to move to a new country, but he certainly does call each of us to be disciples of Him in our own homes.

 

Humility

James 4:10

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

Recognize that you owe all of your strengths to God. I’m naturally pretty adaptable to new environments, but I had to admit to God that I can’t survive on my own without Him when I began to have serious struggles with fitting in.

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

God values us not for what we can accomplish but just for who we are. Parents don’t love their children for what they can accomplish. Or if they do, there is something very wrong with them.

What’s amazing is that God doesn’t need us: He is all powerful. He made us just because He loved us! It is a privilege God gives us to do things for Him.

Following God’s commandments will bring you blessing. Yet even if you think God will not accept you because of the wrong things you’ve done, the Bible says otherwise.

 

Romans 10:9

because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

 

Romans 8:38-39

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

There is NOTHING that can separate you from the love of Christ Jesus!