Patriarchy and How it Departs From God’s Desires For Society

The definition of patriarchy according to the Oxford Dictionary of English:

ˈpeɪtrɪɑːki/
noun
noun: patriarchy
1. a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is reckoned through the male line.
“the thematic relationships of the ballad are worked out according to the conventional archetypes of the patriarchy”
-a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.
“the dominant ideology of patriarchy”
-a society or community organized on patriarchal lines.
plural noun: patriarchies
“we live in a patriarchy”

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Why Are Most Cultures Patriarchal?
In the beginning Adam saw that while every animal had a mate, he was alone. Thus God amazingly made Eve out of Adam’s flesh to be his companion and helper. This makes it clear that God was trying to teach Adam how important Eve was. After spending a period of time alone, Adam could really appreciate Eve more and know how much he really needed her.
After the fall, God said to Eve, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) Or as The NLT translates it, “And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”
Part of the curse placed on mankind was a battle between sexes; a fight for dominance.  We see women trying to be controlling and manipulative while men continually push them down.
To sociologists it’s a bit of a mystery why patriarchy has continually prevailed in the vast majority of cultures.  A simple theory suggests that women generally tend to stay at home with the children while the men go out and see the world, and so thus patriarchal system easily falls into place.  On top of that, men are commonly physically stronger than women, making it hard for women to compete or stand up to them.

God clearly worked through patriarchs: Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David, the prophets etc. When we look carefully at the patriarchs of the Bible, we see that these were men who were obedient servants of God, fulfilling His will by His power.  The world focuses on the authority of the patriarch.  The Bible focuses on the authority of God, expressed through the patriarch.

(Notice though how they all endured some humbling first, to learn submission and dependence on God!)

 

How Patriarchy Departs From God’s Desires For Society
In political spheres, there have been many great female leaders.  I’m going to stick to analyzing patriarchy in the family unit, however, because this is where a society’s morals stem from.  Ephesians 5:22–33 says this,

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

 

The Bible calls the husband the head of the wife. If a husband is not following Christ, then this makes for terrible issues in a family. God does not approve of those behaviors which arise when men selfishly abuse their headship. This is why Ephesians 5:22 tells wives to, submit to your own husbands, AS TO THE LORD.  Wives are to respect and help their husbands with decision-making, but if their husband is making choices outside of what is biblical then they must not disobey God.
If a husband isn’t leading properly then wives must pray and follow Christ as their head. Patriarchal rule covers up and ignores abuse, giving the man the right to force his wife and kids to do what he wants — which is unscriptural and unchristlike.  The headship of a husband does not give him permission to be abusive physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. just as Christ didn’t abuse His church.
A woman should be able to voice her thoughts, but ultimately decision-making on behalf of the family unit is placed on the shoulders of the husband.  A family can be like a committee, each member voicing thoughts and opinions about decisions.  Eventually a conclusion will need to be made by someone, and that someone should preferably be the husband.  If, after the decision is made the wife continues to argue, nothing will ever be accomplished, which is why I believe the Bible reminds women to be submissive.  A responsible family leader, however, will certainly listen to his wife and children and take their desires into account when making decisions for the family.  If a man’s wife is particularly wise in a certain area, or if she also has good leadership abilities then it’s especially important for a man to listen to her.  Patriarchal rule, on the other hand, does not take women into account at all and excludes them from decision making.
When the Bible tells a woman to submit to her husband, people leave out the context. Husbands are instructed to love their wives, and respect and sacrifice is a part of love. We are individually responsible for our actions and have direct access to God, which is why Jesus died and rose again to provide salvation.

Another important note I would like to make is that people often confuse cultural gender roles with God’s ordained family order.  In many cultures Christians hold the idea that, morally speaking, a man should work outside the home and be the main breadwinner, while the wife should be a homemaker.  That’s not necessarily right, as nowhere in the Bible does it say that a man must be the main financial provider.   Most men do desire to be the main provider, but if in a family unit it works out that the wife is the main breadwinner while the man does more of the homemaking, or if they both share these tasks equally, there’s no shame in that.  As Christians, husbands and wives must both work hard, be productive and be involved with their children, but how that manifests will look different depending on cultural and individual circumstances.

God’s ordained family order simply specifies that the husband’s role is in leadership and facilitation of the family, while the wife is to help him and respect his decisions in a wise, godly way.

In conclusion, patriarchy is restrictive to both men and women and is harmful on many levels.  While it’s recorded in the Bible as the history of mankind, it was never God’s desire or intention and has strayed from what His desire for mankind was.  We can thank Christ that He makes all things new.